"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart)"

it's hard to sum up a lifetime in a blogpost. especially a lifetime that flashed by in six months. i didn't blog about my time at CSA, being too busy being knee-deep entrenched in it - but i'm glad i captured all the worthwhile moments that made this last half year such a deep scar on the soul.

the words Bolan, Mehran, Khyber, Fatima, Syndicate, Attachments, Mess, AD, Extension Lecture etc. will never mean the same again. for all the sleeping through classes, and hiding away cell phones that were banned under the DG's orders, dodging violations, and studying for exams a night before. the computers in the library that creaked as they worked, the syndicate rooms where the airconditioning was never turned off. the faculty room where fresh untouched new yorkers waited to be fondled. the steps on the library, and the mugs of coffee and pieces of homemade chicken, while we talked about Postal and Sindh postings and KP boys. the academic block as a meetup point, and the old commoners i memorized while waiting. the peering into the bulletin boards, the filling of my water bottle, the long walks through AD lane, as the wind shuffled past. the Admin block steps, and the kamikaze lizards, and the suicide dogs, and the rats - ooh, the rats! passing underneath the dancing corridor of mehran, where shakira would be blaring out, and sitting at the badminton courts after a long 2 am matchup. the cafe benches, the gym steps, that secret spot in between khyber and punjab house.

and then the dining out, feeling extraordinarily unprobationer-like, flashing our probie card at checkpoints and nakkahs ("this is the only misuse of power i'll allow myself!"), spending the entire nights talking about life, love, dreams and the little bubble we were trapped in.

so there it is - the synopsis of the last six months. nowhere near the justice it deserves. and nowhere near the depth and love of all that i found.

"and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"